Before we look at this question let us explore where we have experienced boundaries and the way we handle them. I remember when I was a child in the play yard at school. There was this large fence along the road next to the ball diamond and sure enough someone would kick the ball over the fence onto the road. Each time someone would go up to the fence as the ball would roll down the hill onto the road. We wanted to go get it before a car hit and smashed our playground ball. But we were all told not to climb the fence or go out onto the road.
Sometimes Boundaries are there to protect us from what lies beyond the boundary. Other times they protect us from what can enter our safe space such as fences at a zoo. So Boundaries are there to protect us.
When we get older we think that the "Grass is always Greener on the other side of the fence. When in fact it only appears greener if you don't take care of what you have inside of your own fence. Those boundaries were put up for a purpose and the blessings you have enjoyed for so long you may have taken them for granted. To water your blessings, you need to be thankful. Being Thankful for what you have keeps it fresh and new each day.
Than there are those people who just like to see what is on the other side constantly. They have forgotten all the blessings, people, and Joy they have had. So, they live on the fence. Living on the fence is a very dangerous life style for one little shove puts yourself and others in great danger.
1. Jesus established prayer as a priority. He understood the importance of having quiet time with the Father. He withdrew from crowds to pray, even when he was in the active ministry of teaching and healing. “But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”—Luke 5:16. Many of us do not see this as a boundary. The importance of prayer helps us sets boundaries. Think of it like the sights on a surveyor’s instrument. In prayer we can establish the boundaries by meditating on God’s word and prayerfully Digesting it. The boundaries are set by dialing in Jesus’s coordinates.
2. Jesus taught to be confident in your “yeses” and “nos.” In Matthew 5, Jesus explained that when we sway in our yeses and no’s, our characters can be questioned. Because our identity is in him, when we seek him for guidance, we can be confident in our yeses and nos. “’Just say a simple, “Yes, I will,” or “No, I won’t.” Anything beyond this is from the evil one.’”—Matthew 5:37. This is typical of a person on the fence. "Well, maybe I will or maybe I will not" depends on the grass. This is called a double minded man unstable in all his ways. James 1:8
3. Jesus expected others to state their needs. In Matthew 20, Jesus’s question to the blind men was relational. He wanted to be invited into their journey. Because of his perfect love, he doesn’t force us to choose him. We should have our boundaries set just because there are people in need does not require us to respond on their terms. We can take this principle and apply it to our relationships. Others can ask for help and we do not need to feel guilty for “not reading their minds.” Likewise, we can feel free to invite others into our lives and ask for support when we need it.
Keeping boundaries help you enjoy healthy relationships and attract people who are positive forces in your life and build your self-worth. Personal boundaries factor into creating a rich, fulfilling life that keeps you in control of your destiny.
Personal boundaries are defined in part by knowing when to say "no" and not feeling guilty about it. You are not expected to do everything anyone asks of you.
Healthy personal boundaries are based on your own moral beliefs. Going against your values for another person means that you may want to reassess your relationship with him.
Personal boundaries can help you form your identity because they force you to evaluate what you want and what you don't want in your life, and enforce those guidelines.
When others cross your personal boundaries, tell them. You don't have to fight with them to let them know where you stand, but calmly talking about your boundaries enforces your sense of self and purpose.
Above all, don't let others tell you that your personal boundaries are unacceptable. They do not live in your skin. You know what you need better than anyone else. Trust is the important asspect of your personal boundaries. You can only trust your boundaries if you know that they are truly there to keep you where you want to be.
One of the things that helped me was to look at the life of Jesus. I discovered that in his humanity Jesus had limitations that he accepted in a relaxed way. And he had personal needs that he put priority on — sometimes even over the needs of other people — and he did so without feeling guilty.
I saw that Jesus wasn't always nice to people. Often he did not do what people wanted. There were many people he did not help. And when he did help other people he expected them to do their part.
Boundaries keep us safe. Establishing good boundaries will not only protect us it will enlarge our life. If we are constantly looking over the fence than our life needs to be examined not moving the boundaries. Many of us do not know how to set good boundaries. Jesus has given us many examples along with wise advice form the scriptures. Through prayer and meditation we can establish good boundaries.