freedomfrom fear

It never seizes to amaze what some people will tell themselves to enjoy the feeling they get when they hit a woman. Did you know that there are some men who get high off hitting a woman? No lie. It is not different than the feeling people get when they are angry. They like it! How disgusting. They are one small step up the ladder of a child molester. Same cowardly actions same disgusting motives of control.

OK that was my rant I will settle down now and try to help those who have become victims in the aftermath of an additive wife beater. In our society we have started to address bullies in the school, and we all realize that when it is our child that is being bullied, we need to do something. It is not alright. Somehow, we see the women as an adult and we turn the other way. We say, "She can walk out." or "Maybe it's her fault." But the truth is not that simple. We need to understand that violence can come in many forms and start ever so slowly. Women do not see it coming. Therefore, we need to be alert looking for the signs and symptoms of abuse. Caught early and dealt with can save not only the victim but also the abuser if they are ready to confront themselves.

Let's Be Honest...Words Do Hurt

As children, many of us learned to protect our feelings with the mantra, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Unfortunately, this stock response to playground jeering simply isn't true. Words do hurt and as recent research suggests, they can have more serious and lasting consequences than physical violence.

Abuse is when someone causes us harm or distress. It can take many forms, ranging from disrespect to causing someone physical or mental pain. It can occur in someone's home, a care home, hospital or a public place. Often the people who commit abuse are taking advantage of a special relationship. They may be a family member, friend or paid carer who we expect to trust. Sometimes abuse isn't intentional but happens because someone doesn't have the skills or support needed to care for someone. That doesn't make the impact of it any less, but it can help to understand how it happened.

I have befriended criminals, addicts, sex offenders, and many other people that society has condemned. Yet as you have seen from my rant, there is one thing that still turns my stomach every time I see it, hear about it, or even watch it on TV, that is, when a Man hits a woman. Truthfully though, I am willing to put my own feeling aside and reach down and pick up a would-be man who is addicted to domestic violence. Who enjoys the feeling that it brings to him. Who looks down from his imaginary perch waiting for the next fix. It really is an addiction. To help a person with such a problem is no different than any other addict.

The Truth of the matter is that 93% of Spouse Abuse is perpetrated by Men. There are cases when the women are the aggressor. I do not want to diminish those cases, yet the large majority are men abusing women. For this reason, I will be addressing this article to reflect the Majority. Men, there is absolutely no reason for you to abuse any women. It shows your cowardly attempt to have control and to dominate in a non-biblical relationship. Women, get out of this type of relationship. I am not saying divorce, I am simply saying remove yourself from the abuse. Below, are some helps for you to follow.

Helpful Site!

The signs and symptoms are different, but the help is the same.

Sometimes you just can't fix Stupid!

Stupid Excuses

  • "Oh she deserved it"
  • "She knows I love her when I do it"
  • "This is what a Man does. We control our women"
  • "It's My Business. Stay out of it"

What ever stupid excuse is used, it is no different than all the other addicts that try to cope with their addiction. All addicts have excuses so they can continue to do the thing that makes them feel better for a moment. Yet, Domestic violence is somehow viewed as a separate and personal problem that we think that we can not interfere with. Wrong! We should treat it no different than child abuse. That not to say that the woman is a child. But the abuser is a bully, and an addict.

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
Benjamin Franklin

While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You may be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:

Recognize Patterns, Cycles

  1. Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
  2. Prevents you from going to work or school
  3. Stops you from seeing family members or friends
  4. Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear
  5. Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
  6. Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
  7. Threatens you with violence or a weapon
  8. Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
  9. Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
  10. Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won't happen again — but you fear it will. At times you wonder whether you're imagining the abuse. "He can be very sweet at times." Yet it happens again. The emotional or physical pain you feel is real. It is not made up in your mind. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing domestic violence.

The only way to break the cycle of domestic violence is to take action. Start by telling someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, loved one, health care provider or other close contact. You can also call a national domestic violence hot line.

At first, you might find it hard to talk about the abuse. But understand this, you are not the one that should feel any shame!! You are not alone and there are people who can help you. You'll also likely feel relief and receive much-needed support.

Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. Consider taking these precautions:

  • Call a women's shelter or domestic violence hot line for advice. Make the call at a safe time — when the abuser isn't around — or from a friend's house or other safe location.
  • Pack an emergency bag that includes items you'll need when you leave, such as extra clothes and keys. Leave the bag in a safe place. Keep important personal papers, money and prescription medications handy so that you can take them with you on short notice.
  • Know exactly where you'll go and how you'll get there.

There are all kinds of Domectic abuse. but the fit the same patteren and types of abusers.

Elder Abuse

  • Physical Abuse - hitting, striking, spitting at, or other physical force used against an elderly person
  • Verbal Abuse - swearing at, belittling, and demeaning an older person
  • Emotional and Psychological Abuse - manipulating someone's emotions so that they do things for you, or making them feel terrible about themselves, playing mind games
  • Financial Abuse - stealing money or valuables, either directly or by blackmail or coercion
  • Neglect - Simply ignoring their needs, be that their physical needs or their mental and emotional ones
  • freedomfrom fear freedomfrom fear freedomfrom fear freedomfrom fear

Domestic violence and abuse is about control and enslavement, but the Lord is all about deliverance, freedom and peace. Never doubt the power of prayer and God's ability to protect and heal those who are suffering as a result of violence, both silently and out loud.