Sexual Purity

A Bender Byte Moment

By Ron Bender © 2011

We taught our children what the Bible teaches about sex. Other parents have found these teachings helpful also. And they’re good for single and married adults too! (Verses are from the NLT).


Save Sex for Marriage

“Do not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14)

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (Hebrews 13:4)

Spouses are to Share Love, Respect, and Sex

“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

“So do not deprive each other of sexual relations. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time, so they can give themselves more completely to prayer.” (1 Corinthians 7:5)

Don’t Cultivate Lust for Anyone Besides Your Spouse

“You have heard that the law of Moses says, `Do not commit adultery.’  But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Don’t Participate in Immoral Conversations and Shows

“It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.” (Ephesians 5:12)

Don’t Use Divorce as a Way to Marry Someone Else

“Anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. “ (Matthew 5:32, NIV)

Don’t Give in to Immoral Lifestyles that Exclude People from God’s Kingdom

“Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers–none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9b-10; See also Proverbs 2:16-19)


Stay Free of Guilt and Sexually Transmitted Diseases

“Don’t go near the door of her [immoral woman’s] house!  If you do, you will lose your honor and hand over to merciless people everything you have achieved in life. Afterward you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.” (Proverbs 5: 8-9)

Protect your Heart from Severing “One Flesh” Sexual Unions

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (Genesis 2:24)

Maintain Objectivity to Intelligently Evaluate Dating Relationships

“My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel.  Then you will learn to be discreet and will store up knowledge.  The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey… Run from her! Don’t go near the door of her house!  If you do… you will say, `How I hated discipline! If only I had not demanded my own way!  Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers?’” (Proverbs 5:1-3, 8, 12-13)

Sexual Purity Honors God, Yourself, and Others

“No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

Enjoy Married Sex as a Blessing from God

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)


Run Away from Sexual Temptation!

“Run away from sexual sin!” (1 Corinthians 6:18; See also Genesis 39:2-12, Proverbs 5:3-8, 7:1-5, Ephesians 5:3)

Make Friends with People who Reinforce Godly Values

“Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)

Set Godly Limits; Don’t Awaken Sexual Desire with Anyone Besides your Spouse

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (Song of Solomon 2:7, repeated in 3:5 and 8:4)

“God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor– not in lustful passion as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; See also Proverbs 5:15-21, 6:24-25, Acts 15:20, Romans 13:13, 1 Corinthians 6:12-13)

Verbalize your Sexual Purity Commitment

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. “ (Ephesians 4:15)

Be Modest and Focus on Inner Beauty; Don’t be a Lust Object

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4; See also 1 Samuel 16:7 and Matthew 6:25-34)

Realize that Sexual Sin is Exciting for a Moment but Painful for a Lifetime

“The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave… To those without good judgment, she says, `Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!’ But the men don’t realize that her former guests are now in the grave.” (Proverbs 5:3-5, 9:17-18)

Avoid Alcohol and Drugs Because they Weaken Your Boundaries

“Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.” (Proverbs 20:1)

Deny Sinful Sexual Desires and Meet Relational Needs Instead

“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires.  Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience… Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love… For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (Colossians 3:5, 12-15)


Confess your Sins to God and to a Friend to Receive Forgiveness and Healing

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (1 John 1:9)

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Receive God’s Grace and Truth which Sets you Free and Empowers Morality

“The teachers of religious law and Pharisees… said to Jesus, `this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?’….  They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, `All right, stone her. But let those who have never sinned throw the first stones!’…. Then Jesus stood up again and said to her, `Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’  `No, Lord,’ she said.  And Jesus said, `Neither do I. Go and sin no more.’” (John 8:3-4,7,10-11)

Pray for God’s Mercy and Cleansing of your Heart from Sexual Sin

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” (Psalm 51:1-2.  See also Matthew 15:19-20.)

Four Pillars Of Purity

There is nothing as destructive as a secrete sin. Join me as we discover the four Pillars that will keep your House from crumbling.

Four Pillers Of Purity




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